it’s my boy’s artwerkkkk
it’s my boy’s artwerkkkk
i was nervous to come back home to nyc after my month long stint in the west. i knew i was going to be busy when i got back, but i was afraid of something… maybe of being something actually good. i couldn’t let my bigger dreams kept hidden in the closet any longer. for the first time, i felt like i had everything to lose. so i went forth.
i didn’t feel like the same person coming back, i was evolving. and i had already been doing that since late june. i think, as soon as i hit california and let the weight of everything sink in, i realized the year i had. it was uncomfortable and overwhelming that i didn’t want to see anybody from back home really. I would hide out at Cali’s, visit Lois at nasa center, hang out and take care of drunk 19 year olds at Smith’s nite, roadtrip to portal of past memories in sf, or eat family dinners with the mcmilons. It wasn’t fair, but i couldn’t afford to care or feel more guilty. i was tired of not feeling balanced.
a little after the book fair ended, which was a huge deal for me that i wouldn’t even understand until it was over, i started feeling weird. i didn’t have any money but i was content. i was now estranged from my family, stacy was long gone, and i was no longer truly best friends with my best friends and it had saddened me the whole month of august and september, but now i was moving on and it was okay. it was weird cos i don’t think i’ve ever been this happy in my life.
i got back to lady liberty, and she blessed me with a kiss on my forehead. the other night of the opening of peter and jim’s show, that was everything i needed in my life at that moment. after dinner at grand morelos, we decided to ditch the bar and walk back to the gallery to smoke up. it was just me, the italian, and one of the three goddesses. a friend of mine once told me that there were 99% of girls you can fuck around, but 1% of girls you never wanted to fuck up your chances with; and me and tomas milian were surrounded not by one 1% girl but three 1% babes. the night was a color we couldn’t quite describe, Vonnegut had requested for the outcasts’ “loving you”. ruth and manson were sitting on the swing set, le was… he was experiencing that moment as an original, i experienced everything like a voyeur, exploiting. the silhouette of these women consumed me and the little asian man was still passed out in the gallery all by himself.
Alexei Vassiliev - From the series Dis-Appearances and Troubled Moments
while i’ve been here in california and feeling everything out. I finally want to start working on letting it all go. I don’t need to explain myself, if you know me, you get me. I want to skate more, tag, listen, dance, see, film more, laugh, love, and fucking live with an easy flow thru the storm. don’t take everything so seriously, you know who y’all are. cut that shit out. And let us vibe.
kate moss by corinne day, i-D december 1993
5 years later camille still looked for her step sister, at once a first lover, charlotte, in the cold streets of night city belgium. a dead person never felt so much more alive.
Dark Sharks | Karen Glaser